Paper People — Jordan G.
It is the second Monday of the month, so it’s Paper People time!
I chatted with my cousin, Jordan. Jordan is probably my first and oldest friend. She is hard-working, charming, and always makes sure that everyone has a seat at the table. She is also an over-achiever but is too modest to brag about herself. As a shock to absolutely no one, I have no issue bragging about her. While I do call Jordan “Sissy”, she is not to be mistaken with my sister (in-law), Jordan. We refer to them as cousin Jordan and wife Jordan. Originally, it was cousin Jordan and sister Jordan, but my brother informed me that he would not be calling his wife anything with the word sister in it. Fair. Jordan is a triplet (she has two brothers, Nicholas and Miles), and fortunately lives 10 minutes away from me (childhood bedroom gang gang gang). Over the summer, we formed a true quarantine-pod. I go to two places - the post office and to Jordan’s house. Lucky me. Thank you to Jordan for chatting with me! I love spending time with her (love language: quality time), and I gotta say, we have flow.
I hope you enjoy my chat with Sissy and have a wonderful week!
From my desk, to yours.
xo,
FP
FP: First and arguably the most important question - what is it like being the cuter, smarter cousin?
JORDAN: Well, we are superior to the boys because…
FP: No, no, no. Don’t try and be modest and make us a group entity.
JORDAN: *politely laughs because she is, in fact, modest* But Nonno does love us dearly and treats us like we are angels…
FP: ...no, Nonno likes you more because you have longer hair.
JORDAN: Sometimes.
FP: More importantly, how often does Nonno spell your name wrong?
Author’s note: Our grandpa, Nonno, is 94 and the cutest human to ever walk this earth. He is from Peru, and perfectly fluent in English, but goes rogue when it comes to spelling our names. I am Francisca (to be fair, my name in Spanish), Franchisca, Franchicka, and sometimes, Franchie. He has a flip-phone and always asks me why I am talking to myself when I have my AirPods in whilst on the phone. We don’t deserve Bernardo.
JORDAN: Every time. G-O-R-D-A-N.
FP: Wait, it is always Gordan? I thought that was only recently and he would usually just do “e” instead of “a”? J-O-R-D-E-N?!
JORDAN: No, it’s always been Gordan.
FP: [Laughing]
JORDAN: G-O-R-D-A-N.
FP: How does he not know?!
JORDAN: He does it, what is it called, where someone spells how...
FP: Phonetically?
JORDAN: Yes!
FP: Honestly, that’s how I spell too.
JORDAN: It’s so special. He’s nothing if not consistent.
FP: Alright, what is your fondest paper memory? Or do you even have one?
JORDAN: Oooooh. For me, personally - and you would know this, I’m a very studious, nerdy…
FP: [sarcastically] NO?!
JORDAN: No?! Shocker!!!
FP: The type-A amongst the two.
JORDAN: No, literally. So, you know, having a fondness for school and academics...wow this is making me sound so interesting! But I’m such an OG with the pen and paper, and I remember in high school when they [the school] started switching to iPads. The digital age.
FP: That was a hard time.
JORDAN: I did not enjoy it all.
FP: I need to flip the page! I need to highlight.
JORDAN: I need to flip the page, I need to highlight. I don’t need to have my textbook on an app that I have to click out of just to take notes on the other app!
FP: Well do you remember that one of the main arguments for switching to tablets was, “Students should not be carrying that many books! It is bad for their backs!”
JORDAN: YES!
FP: First of all, we had ten minutes between each class to go to our lockers. Second, let’s think about people like Laura Ingles Wilder and other homesteaders. And their waists were smaller. So, yeah, we can carry a textbook?
Author’s note: today in Francesca’s Anatomy, larger waists = more suited for carrying textbooks. This will be on the final.
JORDAN: It’s really not that bad. It’s a book.
FP: This is the problem, we make life too easy for kids and then they’re soft.
JORDAN: I know…
FP: As if I have ever had to do manual labor.
JORDAN: But it’s true! So, yes, I was the OG paper and pen lover in school.
FP: So your fondness comes from your love of being a student?
JORDAN:....yes.
FP: That is so pure and wonderful.
JORDAN: It’s going to sound so lame!
FP: No it’s not! It’s nice and endearing. And also, since you won't say it about yourself...
JORDAN: [whiny tone] No, stop!!!!
FP: Jordan graduated in the top 10% of her class from the University of Wisconsin in Madison - a very large school, so you have to work even harder to be that high up...
JORDAN: [Continues whining in this very specific tone that only modest people use when they genuinely want others to stop bragging about them. This sound has never come out of my mouth.] Oh my gosh, stoooooop. Please!
FP:...but she’s too modest to tell anyone, but I have no problem singing her praises.
JORDAN: But taking notes on paper has never let me down. I’ve had issues with technology failing, but not paper!
FP: “Paper has never let me down” is the soundbite of this interview.
JORDAN: In college sometimes I would be lazy and think, “Oh I’ll just take notes on my computer this time”, and then what am I doing? I’m texting, I’m shopping, I’m scrolling, and I am not taking notes or paying attention.
FP: Oh I had to take iMessage off my computer. It's just too distracting.
JORDAN: It’s detrimental to learning! And I am passionate about that because I would come out of a class and be like well I know where I am going out tonight but not what was covered in the lesson.
FP: How often would you say you send letters?
JORDAN: Oooh. Not very frequently, but Heather and I have been corresponding with the FP Pen Pal Set I gifted her for Secret Santa. She loves it.
FP: I feel like Heather is definitely your friend who would be the most into keeping in touch that way.
Author’s note: Heather is Jordan’s friend from college.
JORDAN: Oh for sure. She’s very into timepieces, old English, and all that stuff. But no, it's been good because they [Pen Pal Set] have little prompts and stuff. I’d like to do it more, writing.
FP: I think it’s just one of those things that becomes a habit. Like, “Oh I haven’t talked to so and so in a while, I’m going to pop a little letter in the mail for them.”
JORDAN: Yeah, mine’s more in thank-you notes. Like if I’m going to write a letter, it’s usually a thank-you note.
FP: Well, perfect segway. Since you are the younger of us two, and therefore were more recently in college and as someone who is seeking new employment, what is your take on the thank-you note after an interview? Because you’re very good about following up with things in general, but I’m curious if this is something that was ever discussed in any of your college classes?
JORDAN: Yeah it kind of was because it depends on the industry, just the way that some organizations structure interviews. The business school, for example, had their interview processes staged in the fall, and it’s very traditional. It would be spaced out over the course of a few weeks, so you would have time to send a really nice note in the mail, and you’d have their address and everything like that. But different industries, especially if you were in the journalism/marketing/advertising department, it moves a lot more quickly. It’s more informal in that way, and the job posting to the interview process goes so quickly. It’s all so accelerated, so even if you had a first-round interview and put something in the mail, it wouldn’t even get there in time.
FP: This is so interesting to me because honestly, I’ve interviewed for only a few jobs, so a lot of that world as a whole is pretty foreign to me.
JORDAN: Yeah, and some of this I know from friends and some of this I know from experience.
FP: Do you ever view sending a handwritten thank-you note differently depending on if the interviewer was a man or a woman? Is paper sexist?
JORDAN: I don’t think so.
FP: See, I don’t think so either.
JORDAN: I think women would appreciate it more, but…
FP: I think women would appreciate it more, but I do think men are more taken aback by it.
JORDAN: Yeah, I think men view it more as “wow this person took time to write me a handwritten note”, and women appreciate the sentiment more.
FP: What I find interesting is I, and keep in mind my Dad loves paper and stationery and Nonno appreciates a good greeting card and just writing things down too, but I never think of my male peers being into really nice paper. Because I also don’t think that about my female friends. And so I’m trying to bring it back! Paper, that is, obviously. Because I wouldn't say the average person is super into fine stationery. Sure they can appreciate it, but I think people our age, for the most part, are way more into cute, cheeky greeting cards rather than fine personalized correspondence. Maybe it also has to do with sticker shock? Fine paper can be expensive and millennials grew up communicating via a screen.
JORDAN: I think that’s so true. The average person doesn’t dislike fine paper, they’re just not necessarily used to seeing the value of it as it pertains to their daily life.
FP: I recently sent one of my friends a birthday card - and we’ve chatted about Festa in the past blah blah - and I’m always surprised by how into the actual paper he is. He always is like “I just love thick cardstock!” and I’m like how do you even know the word cardstock?! Because I don’t think anyone really, I have low expectations for people’s paper knowledge.
JORDAN: It’s so true. Something that comes to mind is in college, doing internships, you knew the end date. So at the end of an internship or long term project, I’d send thank-you notes to each person in the office I worked with, or if it was a smaller office, I would write one for everyone. I always made sure to be really specific when writing them, too. And it was always the men who would reach out after saying how much they appreciated it, and how no one does this anymore, etc. Which is also funny to me, because I would never think twice about writing one. It’s just what you do.
FP: True, but we have mothers who would withhold gifts until they’d see proof of thank-you note.
JORDAN: Quite literally.
FP: But seriously a thank-you note really separates you from your peers. I would dare to wager, and I’ve said this before, that if you make a few mistakes here and there, but you do your best and contribute to the team, and then you write a thank-you note at the end of an internship? You will get a glowing recommendation. Because it shows that you’re considerate and it provides the opportunity to go out on a high.
JORDAN: And most likely you’re already a really good person to work with, you’re reliable, it's just the extra push. Also, an old boss or teacher isn’t going to remember that you forgot to do this or that on whatever day. They won’t remember the mistake, they will just remember that you were a great person to work with and that you’re sincere.
FP: And they have a tangible reminder of that. It also closes the loop. You do a good job, you finish out with a nice note, you know you did everything you could. What does Maria Shriver say, the way you leave a situation is more important than how you enter one? Maybe couples should just send a parting letter when they break up?
JORDAN: Honestly, not a bad idea.
FP: I joke with (wouldn’t you like to know) that the reason we remain such good friends is because we are pen pals. Basically, all is forgiven and fair in love & paper.
FP: Tell everyone about your cute mail carrier.
JORDAN: She is SO cute! And just a really kind person.
FP: Like on your birthday.
JORDAN: She was just so sweet. It was peak quarantine, so my mom put out those yard signs to show that we were having a birthday, and when she delivered the mail, she honked her horn and did this little dance and sang happy birthday.
FP: It really was so pure.
JORDAN: And as you know, my mom is besties with everyone who makes deliveries to our house - USPS, FedEx, UPS, Instacart.
FP: I’d say. She has the full snack and drink setup. We are talking full-sized Gatorade and waters on ice, every single morning.
JORDAN: Drinks on ice, every day.
FP: Popcorn, Ritz crackers, chips…
JORDAN: Trail mix, cookies, everything!
FP: She also made this cute laminated sign. It’s the real deal, and she has done it for the entire pandemic.
JORDAN: Yeah, she changes the sign for the season.
FP: Stop it! I did not know that. An angel.
JORDAN: She really is.
FP: Around the holidays, I was pulling into my driveway and the mailman was there. And I “know” him in that we exchange pleasantries and whatnot, but he’s only been our mailman for a few years, he usually wears headphones, and I’m not trying to bother him while he’s on a schedule. So anyway, I said hello and I said thank you so much for everything you do in general, but particularly this year when you’ve been put through the wringer. And then I explained that I’m a small business owner who only ships USPS, so without him, there’s no Festa Paper. And do you want to know what he said to me?
JORDAN: What?
FP: “It’s an honor to be the last mile for your mail.”
JORDAN: Oh my gosh.
FP: Sara Bray and I had been talking on the phone, and at that point, I was just holding the phone in my hand, and all I heard was “Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!”.
JORDAN: That is so genuine. Wow.
FP: And then he asks me what my name is and I tell him I’m Francesca, and he goes, “Oh, YOU’RE Francesca! You get so much mail! I’m going to be honest with you, I thought you’d be an old lady…” and so I start laughing, and then I think he might’ve felt bad because he goes, “No, no. no you’re beautiful! It’s just that my mother-in-law’s name is Francesca, and well, she’s much older than you.”
JORDAN: I love this man.
FP: “Wow! It’s so nice to finally put a face to the name. You get A LOT of mail!” and I explained to him well yeah, I own a business that is all about mail, so lots of packages to the house. And he says “No, no, you get a lot of handwritten notes. You don’t see that as much these days.” I told him I’m bringing it back, baby!
JORDAN: Is this a commercial? I think it needs to be.
FP: Paper pet-peeves?
JORDAN: This is so type-A of me, but when a notebook crunches…like if the corners curl, it makes me crazy. If you close it weird and then the page creases at a weird angle. I really hate that. Oh also, when I spill. But that’s a mistake of my own, not a pet-peeve.
FP: Your mom would always send the most insane care packages to you and your brothers when you were in college. Do you have a favorite one that sticks out in your mind?
JORDAN: She would go ALL OUT. She would decorate the inside of the box with stickers, it was always so festive. She would send cookies, homemade treats, and decorations.
FP: I loved that she even sent those gel decorations for windows.
JORDAN: Yes! Oh my gosh, every holiday. And when I was in the dorm and sorority house, she would send a sizable box with plenty for my friends, too. Like individually packaged goodies for my group of friends, and they would all look forward to it. Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Easter…
FP: Oh she LOVES Halloween.
JORDAN: She really does.
*Tia Monica has entered the chat (room)*
FP: Tia, question for you. Which did you enjoy making care-packages for more, Halloween or Valentine’s Day?
TIA MONICA: Oh, that’s tough.
FP: I feel like you’re a Halloween gal.
TIA MONICA: I LOVE Halloween.
FP: When I was in college, you’d send me Halloween cards and treats in the mail.
TIA MONICA: Yeah, I think I would have to say I prefer Halloween.
FP: Jordan, do you want to tell everyone about your mom sending you Bingo when you were studying abroad?
TIA MONICA: [Laughing]
JORDAN: OMG. Is that one of your questions?!
FP: No, I just thought of it.
JORDAN: Well, I had just arrived in Spain for my semester studying abroad…
TIA MONICA: Here we go. *walks away*
FP: [Laughing]
JORDAN: I would WhatsApp my mom and tell her how uncomfortable my bed was. The bed frame was broken and so I was sleeping on a brick basically on the floor. Sometimes I would sleep on the couch. So my kind mother mailed me a mattress topper and a winter coat because I didn’t bring one. I thought that Europe wasn’t going to be cold like Wisconsin?! I was wrong. It was cold. Well, she also snuck in my childhood stuffed animal, Bingo.
FP: Who she restuffed right before you left, right?
JORDAN: Yes! So Bingo was plump and I thought no, I’m not going to bring her. She’s going to get lost, fall off a train, something bad is going to happen to her. She’s a homebody. She doesn’t yearn to see the world. She didn’t want to board RyanAir.
FP: Bingo wanted to stay in the childhood bedroom.
JORDAN: Exactly. So I get this notice from the Spanish government. It’s a customs form saying that I need to itemize exactly what is in the package and report it to the Spanish government. Keep in mind, this form is in Spanish. And, sorry to our ancestors, but I’m conversational at best.
FP: Lo siento, Abuelita.
JORDAN: It’s unfortunate. But, fortunately, I had an RA named Mira, and she was the best. She really saved the day.
FP: You know what? She saved Bingo.
JORDAN: She really did and I almost threw her in Spanish jail on accident.
FP: [laughing] I’ve heard this story so many times, and it’s still funny.
JORDAN: So I asked Mira for help translating the form, and she let me know that the form required the signature of a Spanish citizen. Essentially, you needed to have the equivalent of a US driver’s license to free a seized package from customs, so Mira generously offered to sign the form, I paid the customs fee, and submitted the documents. It’s like a few weeks before the semester ends and my mom is like where is this package?! And when we first filled out that customs form, Mira and I, we had to be super specific about the contents. And my mom told me it’s a mattress pad and a jacket. No mention of Bingo because she wanted it to be a surprise.
FP: Wasn’t Bingo in a vacuum seal bag?
JORDAN: Yes! I’ll need to send you the picture. So I got this letter from basically the Spanish IRS saying that I was not truthful when reporting my items and therefore committed fraud. This is a crime punishable by x amount years in jail and a fine of 10k euros. And my poor RA was freaking out, and I felt horrible! So I call my mom, and I’m like what else is in this package because I’m about to accidentally send Mira to jail! And you have to provide very specific details, mind you, like SKUs and links if purchased online.
FP: Oh wow, they weren’t messing around! Did they just think you were smuggling in drugs?
JORDAN: Yeah drugs and/or counterfeit items. So my mom was like well I wanted it to be a surprise, but I put Bingo in there.
FP: BINGO DOES NOT HAVE A SKU.
JORDAN: Bingo does not have a SKU anymore, and you can't buy her on Amazon!
FP: Also, how do you describe Bingo? “My suspect looking dog with a big necklace, NOT carrying drugs!”
JORDAN: “With pink polka dots.”
FP: You’re lucky they didn’t slice Bingo open to look for drugs.
JORDAN: And she was VERY stuffed! Very plump.
FP: She had actually just gotten fresh injections at Beauty Lab.
JORDAN: Yes, she had a layover in Salt Lake City.
FP: She’s a good-time girl.
Author’s note: If you watch RHOSLC, you’ll understand this. If not, highly recommend.
JORDAN: I had to have my mom provide the Spanish government with dimensions of freshly stuffed Bingo, and it was just a mess. And poor Mira is just freaking out saying how she couldn’t go to jail. So anyway, I had to re-report the items.
FP: Meanwhile you’re still sleeping on a brick.
JORDAN: STILL, but at that point, I didn’t even care. I was just trying to keep an innocent girl from going to jail and save Bingo.
FP: The drama!
JORDAN: So a week before I am set to go home, I finally get the package. I had to pay 300 euro. I still felt so bad for Mira, so I left her the mattress pad and jacket. I also gave her money and was like I’m so sorry! I would’ve never seen Bingo again had it not been for her and all her help, and she was still so sweet about it.
FP: You could’ve been like Amanda Knox, minus the murdering, and ended up in prison in Europe.
JORDAN: I could still be in a Spanish jail.
FP: Then again, Amanda Knox does have a sick book deal and you’re sitting here talking into the Voice Memo app on my phone, so maybe you played this all wrong?
JORDAN: Arrested for partying? Nope. Arrested for Bingo.
FP: Wow, so in the end, Bingo didn’t even see the world.
JORDAN: Nope. She never asked for any of that.
FP: Rapid fire. Lined or unlined?
JORDAN: Lined. I’m type-A, duh.
FP: Blue or black?
JORDAN: Black. Back in my youth when I was wild, I was blue.
FP: Wife Jordan is a blue ink gal, and so now I associate all blue pens with her. Are we surprised that I even find ways to make pens about my sister?
JORDAN: That is what I think about these pens my mom uses because she always used to steal them from John. Like he would only use this one type of pen, so whenever he would sign a bill or something, my mom would take the pen.
Author’s note: John is Jordan’s late grandpa on her dad’s side. He was the absolute best, and apparently, a huge pen guy.
FP: Gel or ballpoint?
JORDAN: Ballpoint. Gel is too messy.
FP: John Mayer or Diplo?
JORDAN: John Mayer.
FP: Favorite FP product?
JORDAN: Pen Pal or the thank-you notes. I have so many of the thank-you notes. And I always get a thank-you for the thank-you because people like the cards so much!
FP: You love to hear it. Well, Jordan, thank you for your ti- is that a mask in the tree?!
The interview ends with us trying to figure out if there is, in fact, a mask stuck in a tree. What a time in our lives.
Bingo after being rescued in Spain.