Paper People — Anne M.
Hello & welcome to the second Monday of the month — Paper People!
This week’s Paper Person was Festa Paper’s first official customer on launch day, my best friend Anne. Anne is from Wisconsin, lives in D.C., but is currently back home and a fellow member of the childhood bedroom gang gang gang! Anne and I met during our first week of college at Saint Louis University. We’ve been roommates (hand up, I am a much better friend than I am roommate), traveled far and wide (phenomenal travel companions), and remained loyal friends no matter life’s storms (she’s a foxhole type of gal). Anne sees the world through a remarkably empathetic lens, has the gift of being able to just listen, and is funny in the most subtle, sneaky way. I adore Anne and I am so grateful for her friendship.
May this week be better than the last. Thank you for spending your Monday morning with me! From my desk, to yours.
xo,
FP
FP: Thank you so much for being willing to be my first guest even though you didn’t know the newsletter EXISTED!
ANNE: I’m on a social media break! My mom told me!
FP: [High pitched voice that sounds nothing like Anne] “Oh my gosh! Yes, of course! What is it, like a podcast?” ….Uh, no Anne, it’s a weekly newsletter? Did you not see the email?!
ANNE: [Continues to laugh, saying nothing — a theme in our friendship]
FP: “Wait, yeah! I think my mom told me about that? But I told her, Mom!!! I’m on a social media break!!!”. Thrilled to hear that I am reaching your mom, though! Thank you for your readership, Ms. McGovern.
ANNE: I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know what folder you ended up in, but I added you as a contact so I will now get notifications.
FP: Well my name was spelled wrong, so perhaps I’m to blame for getting lost in your DMs. ‘Hey guys! It's me Francesa.’
We proceed to go off track, talking about nothing paper related for a solid ten minutes. Anne keeps saying, “Okay this is off the record” as if I’m with The Times. It’s important to have friends who take both you and journalistic integrity, seriously.
FP: So Anne, you’re a very thoughtful and considerate friend. And one who, in my experience, is a consistent sender of cards.
ANNE: Keep going.
FP: Why have you never officially agreed to be my pen pal? Is it because we speak 97 times a day?
(Editor’s Note - Anne has a demanding job that she is both very good at and takes very seriously. Should her employer ever come across this, I can assure you, she ignores my calls 96 of the times. Cheers!)
ANNE: It’s very hard for me - it takes a lot of energy for me to do this, reach out to people. As we speak, I am looking at your [Festa Paper] ‘Miss You’ card for Annie, and your [Festa Paper] ‘Congratulations’ card for Mallory. Mallory got engaged over the summer!
FP: Wait did I send Mallory a card? I think I did? I haven’t sent the gift yet, but I think I sent a note? Well, she reads this, so I guess we will soon find out.
ANNE: And - this is all aspects of my life, which I think I told you this before - it really takes me so much energy to build myself up to connect with people. I dodge people’s texts, I dodge people’s phone calls.
FP: Anne, I have five-hundred-something unread text messages, I get it. I also just don’t think anyone is dying to hear back from me. If it’s urgent or important, just call. Or send a letter, which can be purchased at festapaper.com.
ANNE: I can be so bad at it, and I don't know why!
FP: Well you’re not, but also it can also be taxing, especially since you’re an introvert! I think many of us have this idea that we are being rude if we don’t respond, or if we don’t respond right away. The reality is, no one cares! No one is sitting at home thinking, “WOW - Francesca did not respond to my non-urgent, inconsequential text I sent her back in May!”.
ANNE: I do believe that it's always worth it, though! You feel so much better when you reach out, or send a card, or write a positive review or, you give somebody a compliment. Forcing yourself to have the energy in the moment is always worth it. One of my 2021 - and I don’t want to say goals - but my, “trying to become who I want to be goals” is showing up for people.
FP: Are you serious?
ANNE: What?!
FP: You do show up for people, you’re easily one of the most show-upy friends in my life. You’re not giving yourself enough credit at all.
ANNE: I think I am for certain people. Like with us, it’s easy. Our friendship is so easy.
FP: I agree, but also that’s how they should be. You’re selling yourself very short and I won’t have it on my podcast!
ANNE: Thanks, Frankie.
FP: Do you have any paper influences? I know your dad is a known documentarian of all things. I feel like your mom is also really good at recording things and having keepsakes to hand down, no?
ANNE: Interesting question, Frankie.
FP: When I think of this question in regards to you, I think of your mom’s family heritage book she compiled, and the beautiful photo of your grandma sitting in the basket on the beach in New Jersey. I love that photo.
ANNE: Mmmm yeah, I have that right in front of me actually.
FP: It reminds me of a vintage postcard.
ANNE: I feel like in general, we are really lucky that we know so much about our family history. We have lots of photos, and I don’t know if you know this, but my grandpa’s brother was a photographer during WW2. So, we have a lot of his work - lots of keepsake photos that both he took, and also ones of him amongst the destruction at the time. So unique things like that.
FP: I didn’t know that. Popop’s brother?
ANNE: Yeah. The older I get, the more I realize how I’ve taken for granted knowing about who I am and where my family came from and just having the access to that information. I never fully appreciated how much it contributed to my sense of identity. It seems obvious, but it’s just not something I thought of growing up.
FP: It’s so true. You obviously know that my dad is an immigrant, and my mom is first generation. The sources are readily available. And like yours, my family - especially my dad - takes a lot of pride and just interest in sharing stories about his grandparents and family in Italy. He also has so many photos of his family. Every Pompili from the old country had RBF.
ANNE: Explains a lot. But yes, it is a gift, and I know I’m not really answering your question, but...
FP: No, you are! All of these things are “paper influences'' - photos, letters, documents are all paper. I’m always struck by how little I realize that paper has sustained us and our stories, in every sense. That is going to sound so melodramatic in print.
ANNE: Yeah, probably. Actually, there’s also this letter that recently resurfaced. My grandma wrote to my dad’s friend Warren after he had his first child. It was just parenting advice and whatnot. The letter was recently passed along to Michael and Fu-Nong. (Michael & Fu-Nong are Anne’s brother and sister-in-law who live in Taiwan. About a month ago, they welcomed their first child, a beautiful baby girl named Chloe! Wear your mask and stop going on vacation so that Anne and her family can meet Chloe, okay thanks!!!)
FP: That is so sweet! Talk about a gift.
ANNE: I know, it is really special. I just feel lucky to have these types of things.
FP: My favorite question - paper pet peeves?
ANNE: Oh gosh - let me think.
FP: I’ll tell you mine, and it won’t be a shock to you. People who don’t send thank-you notes.
ANNE: I agree! And honestly, sometimes I can be really bad at acknowledging when someone sends me a card or something like that. Do you know who is really good at thank you notes? Mary. I just got her - well I’m sure you got yours too - wedding thank you note, and it was like 4 pages.
FP: No, I haven’t gotten mine yet. But I made them. Custom, baby.
ANNE: Are you going to leave this in? [genuinely surprised tone] Wait, you made them?
FP: Yes, I am leaving this in! Drama sells. And, what do you mean, ‘you made them’?! Yes! The chic grey and white ones! Wow.
ANNE: Sorry! Yeah, they’re nice, Frankie!
FP: Mhm. But yes, Mary is so good at making you feel very seen and appreciated via written correspondence. Always coming in with the gracious note. Some of us just receive her gratitude sooner than others….keep playing hard to get, Mary!
ANNE: Oh another paper pet peeve of mine is paper cuts. I just want to make sure to add that, on the record. You probably get a lot of those Frankie.
FP: I will be sure to add that, but surprisingly, I really don’t. I mean now that you’ve called a no-hitter, I will, but not usually.
ANNE: Great thank you for keeping that on the record. But yes, paper pet-peeve, lack of acknowledgment. And I want to be better, too. It goes back to what I was saying earlier about finding the energy to do these things. I wish I was one of those people that could just send a quick note, but I’m not.
FP: Oh I have to write a draft for nearly every card I send.
ANNE: It takes energy to communicate, but like I was saying earlier, you always feel better afterward. So my pet-peeve is also something I sometimes take part in. I'm self-inflicting anxiety now - I'm making a list of all the thank you notes that I don’t think I've sent or things I haven’t acknowledged. Ugh!
FP: Just think of Thanksgiving, when I *proceeds to tell a story that is far more haunting than forgetting to send a thank you note to make Anne feel better. I instantly regret this decision.*
FP: Do you have any prized paper possessions?
Anne: Oh I do! I have three. The first, well, so I keep every letter I get...like a crazy person.
FP: I have half a dozen shoeboxes filled with all my letters, so you’re in good company.
ANNE: You just never know! You just never know when you’re going to want to look back on something.
FP: Or when you’ll want to have something in someone’s handwriting.
ANNE: Yeah! I have things from my grandparents and things from my uncle, but I used to just have them just tucked away for when I want to see them. Then, and I got this idea from Marielle after seeing hers, you’ve seen it Frankie, the glass frame.
FP: Oh yeah! I’ve always loved this.
ANNE: So it's a flat glass frame, about 14x11, where I keep all my notes and cards, that are particularly special to me. I would say the most cherished one I have in the frame is the note my dad sent me when I first left for college. And as you know, my dad is just the best, especially with these types of things. And so in the card he wrote, “Every day is a gift. Do great things with the time you have.” And I’ve always displayed it - before I even had the frame - in my rooms, because I think it’s such a nice message. I’ll keep that forever, and probably frame it because it's such an important thought. The second one is, my mom kept a journal when she was pregnant with Katherine and me, and there is a message in there from the day when she found out she was having twins. It's sweet. It’s just a little paragraph, but it says that she was in the waiting room, and then she told my dad in the elevator because Michael was there, I don’t know why he wasn’t in the room? But yeah, that’s a really sweet entry. And then my third one is this letter that my dad wrote us this summer. My parents’ college friend unfortunately unexpectedly passed away and in the letter, the one my dad wrote us, he said, “I think the greatest tragedy is that there must’ve been things that he wanted to share with his kids that he didn’t get the chance to”. Well, now I’m getting emotional. Whew.
FP: Annie!
ANNE: It's this three-page list with all of his advice, his life advice, which is definitely my most cherished paper.
FP: Did you guys just all weep when he gave it to you?
ANNE: Oh my gosh, yeah! What am I supposed to do?! I just wept and wept, and then woke up the next morning crying!
FP: I woke up crying this morning…because of my vandalism dream. I dreamt that someone crinkled my paper, and I claimed it was vandalism, and threw a fit. Woke up with tears in my eyes.
ANNE: Of course. But yeah, I’ve made a copy of that one too. I want to display that somehow. So those are my most prized pieces. I highly recommend the glass frame because it's hard to display these things in an elegant way!
FP: It’s such a good idea. I should get one. I love Marielle’s. Also, somehow everyone in her life has gorgeous handwriting.
ANNE: They really do! I was thinking about getting another, but I don’t want it to seem braggy, because some of the letters are ya know, very complimentary.
FP: And so?
ANNE: I mean, do I really need to display how great people think I am? You see it and people would be like wow, this girl LIKES herself!
FP: Again, and so? I would love that.
ANNE: You would love that.
FP: Uh yeah, I would love for someone to walk into the childhood bedroom and see a trophy case of all the nice things my peers have said about me. Who wouldn’t love that?!
ANNE: [Laughing]
FP: We should all spend more time taking in the kind words of others.
FP: Alright final question - writing tools of choice?
ANNE: Writing tools of choice hmmm, actually I am currently doodling with, you know those felt-tipped pens? The Papermate ones?
FP: No free ads, but yes I do, great pens.
ANNE: Yeah, I’d love some free pens, Papermate! But overall, I’m not too picky about my writing tools, to be honest.
FP: Can’t relate, I am so picky about my writing tools. You have really nice handwriting, and you do calligraphy.
ANNE: Thank you, and yeah but I haven’t in a few years. 2021, getting back into those hobbies.
FP: And what about your notebook status for work?
ANNE: I’m a huge Microsoft Onenote gal, I just have a big running list.
FP: Oh so not a paper note gal? I suppose that makes sense for your line of work - lots of moving parts.
ANNE: It honestly depends, sometimes I write down my to-do on paper. It just depends.
FP: Sometimes to-do lists make me feel bad about myself because it will be the end of the day and I will not have completed what was intended to be an easy task, and so that is why I get dressed every morning. Pants with a button, as you know, is my rule. So even if I don’t accomplish all that much, I can always tell myself, you know what? You wore pants today. Go off, FP!
ANNE: Recently my dad asked us, “When you guys don't have something on your to-do list but do it, do you then write it down just so you can cross it off?” And I started laughing and was like no, but I probably should!
FP: Oh I always do that! Yeah, you think I’m not going to give myself the glory?!
ANNE: Of course you do!
FP: And those are the ones I make a point to cross out extra. Like Francesca, you’re the only one seeing this? Relax! But yes, Dr. John, I too do that and think it’s great.
15 minutes later…
ANNE: Wait, are we still on the record?
